PIPE DOWN YOU MUGS!

As the rot set in Conservative posters began to desert Lucianne.com in droves. Dawgsquat, the popular picture poster, popped up on a new website, Pipebombnews.com, run by Bush supporter William Mayer and former Lucy poster Feral.

The Dawg had been a much-loved poster on Lucianne.com and his buddy Amy Sheehan, the current editor of Lcom, had been sorry to see him leave. She briefly posted on PBN in a bridge-building measure.

But any solidarity between the two sites evaporated soon after when hackers spammed Lucianne.com, with links to Pipebombnews.com. Longstanding Lucianne followers were aware of Pipebomb but were reluctant to join because they said it was too primitive.

Run on a cheap and clumsy message board, which worked similarly to the New York literary agent's website, Pipe merely chugged along at first. It was helped by Aussie-based American Mr.Peabody, who registered at least a dozen screennames simply so he would have someone to talk to, and Peabers' old Lucy sparring partner JJ, who had also taken advantage of the lax security on the new site to bag several names of his own.

Other notables to sign up included Liberal troublemaker Indypundit, who had rebadged himself as Chicken Boner, Linda - a sexy southern gal who Peabers and JJ both had the hots for - and the inevitable Australians KingKangaroo and Big Boomerang. Chicken Boner was banned from Pipe in 2001 after referring to several female posters as 'c**ts'. He is not expected to return.

Similarly, the staff banned KingKangaroo for reasons best known to themselves. JJ is one of the few who bothers to post on the site but his buddy Peabers sadly passed away in March of 2002.

Unlike Lucianne.com, Pipe allows posters to submit bandwidth-clogging pictures and audio files. Mayer, after a somewhat shaky start, is occasionally asked to appear on the radio. Many wonder why he bothers. His forum contains a number of dull self-penned editorials which were for a time parodied mercilessly on another site by a disgruntled ex-poster called "gto".

Mayer's forum never attracted the hardcore Lucianne followers, who preferred to either re-register on Lcom under new names or try their hand on the Big Daddy of political message boards, Free Republic. Many predict Mayer will bin the forum, which barely gets any hits at all, at the first opportunity he gets. Bill would deny this and has even decided to rename it Pipelinenews to deter would be anarchists from registering.